I feel yucky. I feel like a giant, achy, grumpy mess that has a litter of squirmy puppies tucked inside my belly that never stop moving. There are parts of my body that have not stopped hurting for 27 weeks and a drainage situation that literally makes me want to consider taking up chewing tobacco when I have the baby since I'm already used to spitting 100 times a day.
My body is protesting the things that I love, like teaching and inspiring my students in my group fitness classes and its making me crazy. I want to be superwoman and teach til the end, or at least the month before but I can tell that that is probably not an option the way I am feeling after I teach now days.
And my house is not sold. We have people coming to look and yet no on out of all the people who have seen our house since February 1st have placed an offer. Why? Does no one love my house as much as we do? I have been in HUNDREDS of homes over the years (due to my Premier business primarily) and I feel that my home ranks pretty high in comfort, style, and cleanliness comparably. And yet, here we still sit. And my baby has no where for his little self. Sure, the pack-n-play will suffice for the first several months (or like Haven, a year) but then what? And what about the cute little boy clothes and stuff I'm buying and getting from my showers? How long will storing it all in a clear plastic bin in the bonus room last? Especially once he gets here? He has no furniture, because Haven is still using it all in her room. The girls are too far apart in age to put in a room together, we've already experienced what happens when Haven gets into Micah's stuff. And I need an office for legal reasons for my business. So we're stuck. And we don't know where we'd move right away if we did sell, because we stopped looking--for obvious reasons.
*Please Lord, provide as you always do! I thank You so much for all you've blessed us with and am so honored you would choose me, however tough it is, to carry another one of your children into this world. Father, I am anxious when I shouldn't be, and stressing where I know you will take care of us, but you also know my heart and know what is best for the Barkers and our unborn son! I love you, my Dad and King, and I ask that you allow our house to sell soon and show us the right house for us to choose soon after! You're awesome and I am so grateful that you care about the little things like houses and body aches and grumpy hormones when you are such a big God! In Your amazing name, Amen.*
Oh, and we're out of toilet paper. Talk about a day-ruiner!
5 comments:
Bless your heart! I know you're stressed. But you live in a great house in a great neighborhood...It will sale (or is it sell?) soon, I'm sure! Pregnancy tends to make every problem so much more difficult. Boo! But soon enough you'll be holding that sweet baby boy (Do we have a name?:) and forget everything else. Babies are kinda magical like that ;)
So, I know you already talked to me the day you wrote this, but I felt the need to comment anyway! So that you can not only know that I do read your blog, but that I am constantly lifting you and my sweet little nephew up in prayer. Enjoy this time...you will look back and see where God was even when you couldn't 'see' Him at the time. Take care of yourself and that baby--don't over do it, sister!! You know God always provides...and yes, I will continue to pray that He will provide sooner rather than later so you can make Baby Barker a beautiful boy nursery and not be stressed!
I love you and can't wait to rejoice with you when God proves Himself faithful yet again, and we are laughing at how silly we are to worry and stress :)
Many people read your blog that you just don't know about. Unfortunately, not everyone comments. You have a great blog- and I like the new changes!
I am sorry you aren't feeling that well. Can't say I know how you feel but I will certainly pray you will feel good in the last weeks of your pregnancy.
And it is weird how many people I know right now are in a "waiting" stage of their life. Hopefully it is a short phase, but we are right there with you. I DO understand the worry and stress that comes with having to wait. I was actually just talking to a friend today about it! Sometimes the hardest times in life are the "waiting" moments. It
definitely increases patience and trust in Him. Right now, I am
waiting on a job and waiting for things to work out to where we are
going to live. One thing is certain, so many times God is working when we can't see it (just like Jess said). We think we are just waiting, but God is super
busy making everything fall perfectly into place in His perfect
timing. God knows your heart and your desires- and as long as they
match His- He will give you what you desire!
Love you!
-A
I love your blog, so please keep writing! I have one, but haven't updated it in a while. You do have a lot on your plate, but I'll be praying that God has everything come together smoothly and in His time. Remember, He always knows what is just around the corner and His plan for us is always better than anything we could come up with ourselves!
Serah
Hi there! I found your blog on a friend's page and thought I'd say hello. I'm in Southaven, so it sounds like we're relatively close. I LOVE your house. If mine were sold, I'd definitely take a look at yours! My prayers are with you for a speedy sale and settlement into a new home.
P.S. When I came to your blog, it warned me that it had "adult" content, but I didn't believe it! You may have clicked an option in your settings to warn bloggers before proceeding to your site. Just an FYI.
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